The Joy Luck Club - Waiting Between the Trees

"I became a stranger to myself. I was pretty for him. If I put slippers on my feet, it was to choose a pair that I knew would please him. I brushed my hair ninety-nine times a night to bring luck to our marital bed, in hopes of conceiving a son."
     Ying-Ying St. Clair talks about her early life as a newly married woman in this chapter. She opens her segment hoping that her revelations will bring some wisdom to her daughter who she feels has become shallow and too American materialistic. Ying-Ying's quote (as shown in the opening) embodies the relationship between her and her husband. Her story is laced with references to how she changed herself to please him and how she lost herself in the process. I think that it greatly relates back to the first time the author introduces Ying-Ying. In the first story, Ying-Ying recalls in the Moon Lady her experience falling off the back of her family's yacht. I think that both of Ying-Ying's flashbacks are related. In both experiences, she found herself lost and struggling in unfamiliar territory with no one to pull her back. I also think that both circumstances made her stronger as a person. The fact that Ying-Ying can look back at her marriage and recognize that she changed herself to please another person means that she was able to move on in a positive direction after the experience. In many ways it relates again to the beginning of the book with the formation of the Joy Luck Club and how its members brought their stories of despair as well as stories of triumph. The Joy Luck Club marked the new beginnings of the lives of its members in America as well as their personal journeys to learn from their pasts in China.

The Joy Luck Club - Best Quality

     At a Chinese New Year crab dinner hosted by her mother, Jing-Mei Woo finds herself the target of insults thrown at her from all directions. Most specifically, her childhood friend/enemy Waverly as well as her own mother. Waverly is criticizing work Jing-Mei has done for her law firm. Jing-Mei's mother comments on her tendency to "settle" in her work, in her choices, and in her relationships. Surprisingly, Jing-Mei is still sensitive to her mother's harsh opinions translated in side comments of sarcasm. In an instant, her view of her life was crushed. She failed to find value or impact in her work, "I was very good at what I did, succeeding at something small like that." I think that Jing-Mei's mentality is reflected in the lyrics to duo Sugarland's song titled "Little Miss."

Little Miss done on love,
Little Miss I give up,
Little Miss I'll get tough, don't you worry 'bout me anymore
Little Miss I'll take less when I always give so much more
Yeah, sometimes ya gotta lose 'til ya win,
I'm okay, It'll be alright again, I'm okay It'll be alright again, I'm okay
Little Miss, be my guest, I'll make more anytime that it runs out
Little Miss you'll go far,
Little Miss hide your scars,
Little Miss who you are is so much more than you like to talk about
I think that Jing-Mei is comfortable in her life and with the choices she has made. Still, she is second guessing herself as we all do under the critical eye of those we are close to.

I think that Jing-Mei is comfortable with her life and with her choices but, she still has some self-doubt under the critical eye of those close to her.

The Joy Luck Club - Without Wood

     Rose Hsu Jordan opens another segment by describing her nightmares as a child. She recalls a childhood name her sisters gave her, "I was Scaredy Eyes because I would squeeze shut my eyes so I wouldn't have to see the dark, which Janice and Ruth said was a dumb thing to do." This theme is repeated later in the chapter when Rose describes how she is dealing with her pending divorce. Sleeping for days, Rose ignores the rest of the world. In a way, she is squeezing her eyes shut so she doesn't have to face reality again. Rose's sisters bring up a valid point while saying that her method of escaping the dark is "dumb." Shutting your eyes obviously makes you see darkness, but in a way, I think that Rose sees it as a familiar darkness, a controlled darkness. In a similar way, Rose takes control of the "darkness" of her divorce and sinks into the controlled comfort of sleep.
We would all rather deal with the known than the unknown: the familiar rather than the "darkness."

The Joy Luck Club - Four Directions

     Waverly Jong, once a chess champion, is now moving into a new chapter in her life with her new boyfriend and daughter. As many daughters do when they are taking a large step towards their future, Waverly seeks the approval and opinion of her mother. Unfortunately, she gets exactly what she expects. Waverly's mother silently criticizes Waverly's life choices while walking through her home. Waverly attempts to redeem herself by shyly showing her mother a gift that her boyfriend had given her: a mink coat. With only a few words, Waverly's mother cuts the gift down and, in turn, cuts down Waverly's opinion of her boyfriend. "And looking at the coat in the mirror, I couldn't fend off the strength of her will anymore, her ability to make me see black where there was once white, white where there was once black. The coat looked shabby, an imitation of romance." Waverly's fears were realized. She mentions indirectly how much her mother's opinion matters to her, "I'd never known a love so pure, and I was afraid that it would become sullied by my mother." In this statement, she admits her shared love for her boyfriend and also how fragile it is.

     I think that Waverly's feelings can be compared to the emotions of designers or contestants who compete on television shows such as Project Runway or Next Food Network Star. While this analogy may seem farfetched, they have remarkable similarities. Under constant scrutiny and criticism, competitors sometimes begin not to find the same value in themselves or their work. The opinions of a judging panel or those of a controlling mother can override the initial reactions of a competitor or, in this case, a daughter. Waverly seems to have made the right decision already for both her and her daughter, we will find out later the chapter whether she will stick with her initial decision or conform to her mother's ideals.

The Joy Luck Club - Rice Husband

     Author Amy Tan changes the mood of the novel by introducing the American lives of the Joy Luck Club members' children. Lena St. Clair is reintroduced as a woman struggling with power in a stalemate marriage rather than as a fearful child. Lena begins questioning her reasons for staying in the relationship when her mother comes for a visit and sees her daughter's life through very Chinese eyes. Doubt creeps into Lena's mind while her mother questions her lifestyle. Near the end of the chapter, we see Lena stand up to her husband and begin the process of reexamining their reasons for staying together. During her untimely explosion, Lena's husband asks her what is really wrong. She replies with a jumble of thoughts and emotions, "'Everything...the way we account for everything. What we share. What we don't share. I'm so tired of it, adding things up, subtracting, making it come out even. I'm sick of it.'"

     Lena's feelings apply to many different relationships, not specifically a marriage. As humans, we find it easy to "keep score" in arguments with friends and family. Often, revenge is our way of making things come out even. Still, "forgive and forget" comes more easily to some people than others. Our minds are constantly calculating the score, sometimes even in the relationships that mean the most to us, with every unkind word or petty reaction. I think that maybe it is a defense mechanism, making sure that we are not getting the raw end of a deal. As the mental tally runs up, so does our emotional reaction saying, "don't get walked all over." In the classic Disney movie of my childhood, characters Buzz Lightyear and Woody of Toy Story deal with a "calculated" struggle of jealousy because of Andy's favoritism. In the end, Buzz and Woody must overcome their differences to get back home to Andy's house. While this is a simple example, I think it provides a lesson for us all in throwing away the mental tally of offenses and moving forward towards a common goal.

The Joy Luck Club - Half and Half

     While the main argument in Rose Hsu Jordan's story is to explain her mother's belief in nengkan (belief in the power of luck and prosperity), her recollections are interrupted with pieces of her broken marriage and her struggle with an imminent divorce. While explaining her mother's lost faith in God and nengkan, Rose shares the tragic memory of her younger brother's death at the beach. In many ways, Rose's section in the book is about moving on. Rose watched her mother lose her son, and then lose her faith - moving on in a negative way. She was unable to overcome the loss of another family member, possibly because of her childhood experience of losing her own mother. Rose is now dealing with how she is going to tell her mother that she can no longer stay in her marriage because she is losing her personal identity, "After a while, there were no more discussions. Ted simply decided. And I never thought of objecting." Rose is losing herself by staying with her husband, the very person who should be lifting her up and supporting her growth.

     Rose's mother tells her plainly that what she thinks of her daughter's marriage when Rose confides in her, "And my mother says, 'You must think for yourself, what you must do. If someone tells you, then you are not trying.'" The woman sees right to the root of her daughter's failing relationship. But, at this point, it may be too late for Rose. In her story, we can find an all too aparent message - don't let others decide your fate. Love is not blind, we see each others faults and recongize when those faults have taken over and poisoned a relationship.

The Joy Luck Club - The Voice from the Wall

"Every time I saw her after that, I would pretend to look down, busy rearranging my books or the buttons on my sweater, guilty that I knew everything about her."

     Lena St. Clair carries the weight of her frightened mother and ignorant father, and now, she carries the story of her neighbor whom she hears screaming through her bedroom wall. "Then I heard scraping sounds, slamming, pushing and shouts and then whack! whack! whack! Someone was killing. Someone was being killed." If it truly was someone being killed, the story would be much simpler, but the girl behind the wall could not get that lucky. Lena hears the abuse of the girl behind the wall every night before finally meeting her. And when she does, Lena is shocked at how normal she looks. At the end of the chapter, Lena compares her neighbor's verbal and physical abuse to the silent abuse she suffered in her relationship with her mother. The author presents both girls' abuse in a veiled way but with pathos that provokes both compassion and interest.

     Abuse takes on many forms - some easier to recongnize than others. Lena suffered because of her mother's self-centered neglect; and Lena's mother suffered from the abuses of her childhood. It is a never ending cycle. Sometimes, the abused become the abusers; so lost in their own self pity or pent up anger that they don't see themselves becoming the very thing they resent. It is outsider's reaction to the abuse that interrupts the cycle. Lena, struggling with her own abuse, does nothing to help her neighbor, as she describes in the opening quote. In many people's eyes, she took the easy way out - to avert her attention and pretend that she hasn't seen anything. But Lena's admittance to a feeling of guilt reveals what we all truly know: we recognize the hurt in one another and feel a need to fix it, to find justice, but standing up for someone else when we are consumed with our own weaknesses and pain is hard to do. Country singer Martina McBride sings about abuse in her song titled "Concrete Angel." Lines from the lyrics of this song resonate with the situations Lena and her neighbor are experiencing:
"Somebody cries in the middle of the night,
The neighbors hear but they turn out the lights;
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate,
When morning comes it will be too late."
For me, this song is a call to action. Open your eyes, be sensitive and compassionate - break the cycles.